Letters to a Woman in the Midst of Divorce (Part 1)

My Dear Marie,

I received your recent letter detailing the process by which your marriage has been obliterated; you should know up front that my wife and I have been praying for you regularly, as your situation is clearly distressing. Both my wife and I myself encouraged you not to enter into marriage with Jerry, as it was clear to us from the outset that he was manipulative, deceptive, and given to violence, and yet you rejected our advice and proceeded with the marriage anyway. I don’t say any of this to blame or shame you, but to keep the context of the events that led to this point firmly in view. And while I wish that you had come to my wife and I when you discovered your husband’s first affair, that is now in the past, and it is the present with which we must deal. As I understand it your situation is this: you are eight weeks post-pregnancy, and you have discovered that your husband not only didn’t end his adulterous activities, but has been engaged in persistent adultery, to the tune of nearly a dozen affairs, most facilitated by the Internet (Ashley Madison, etc.).  Thus you have taken the baby and left your husband, now that Jerry’s serial adultery has been discovered.

You mentioned in your phone call that Jerry has been attempting to manipulate you into staying in the marriage by quoting various passages of Scripture, apparently in an attempt to insinuate that should you proceed with the divorce, you would be forbidden (from a biblical standpoint) from ever remarrying. I am positively infuriated by this mishandling—actually, twisting, in this case—of Scripture, as he is using it as a further method to control you (something we both know he has done with great pleasure for the past three years, even down to what you were “allowed” to eat and drink).

You asked when we talked if I would walk you through the various Biblical passages regarding divorce, as your desire is to make sure that you are being obedient to the Word; since I was only able to give you the briefest of overviews over the phone, I thought that I might write you a series of letters that would better examine the passages at issue in-depth, so that you might be able to read them with an open Bible at hand.

Here’s what we’ll be doing: I want to examine together with you the cardinal passages of Scripture that speak to divorce, so we’ll be looking at Deteronomy 24:1-4; Matthew 19:3-9; Romans 7:1-3; 1 Corinthians 7:10-15; and 1 Timothy 5:8 (as the last is particularly relevant to your situation).

It is my deepest desire that these letters help you better understand the revealed will of God, so we must therefore set forth the theology of the Scriptures, and then proceed to its application to your situation.

Blessings and Grace to You in Jesus Christ, Our Mutual Lord,


B.M. Palmer.


"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naïve." (Romans 16:17-18) Please read "The Comments Policy."

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